Scotts Review of Titles of Movies That Have Nothing to do With said moooovies

I'M FUCKING DRUNK AS SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!!!

HURT LOCKER: It's a story about some guy in the military. He has a locker. He hurt its feelings. Two hours of discussing differences between him and his locker. Very touching. A few dirty socks co stars.

LORENZOS OIL: A heartwrenching story about a boy who wants to just be a boy and play with legos and swing on swings, but he has the uncanny ability to produce crude oil. Iraq kidnaps him, and USA goes to war to save him, but in actuality, they only have his oil in mind. His parents are his only hope for him to gently cuddle with them in bed, while a hot wheels is stuck up his dads ass.

Troll 2: The true story of Mitt Romney and his rise to power.

Black Dynamite: The true story of Barack Obama and his rise to power.

Control: This is about the legendary lead singer of Joy Division, Ian Curtis, and is lack of control from committing suicide.

Titanic: Vaginas hop aboard a massive steel cock.

Searching for Bobby Fischer: A story about a boy chess prodigy who wants to find Bobby Fischer and learn how to overthrow the American government. A great movie if you're into White Supremacy.

Triumph of the Will: A documentary on how William H. Macy overcame his gnome-like looks to become a Hollywood sensation.

Jesus Camp: A PBS special where Jesus Christ, your lord and saviour takes a bunch of gap toothed kids in the woods and shows them how to build a camp fire, pop a tent, hunt elk, fix the broken leg on a chair, and last but not least; how to hang out on a crucifix.

Serial Mom: A hilarious romp about a mother who can't stop writing letters to General Mills, with complaints about how their cereals brutally scrapes the roofs of her childrens mouths.

The Omen:  The happy go lucky story about a man and a wife, who adopt a child who brings them good luck, with hilarious consequences.

The Octogon: A legendary Kung Fu film, starring Paul Rudds genitals.

Silent Rage: A movie starring Chuck Norris featuring the problems he endures from suffering agonizing pain brought on by irritable bowel syndrome.

Roadhouse: Your bible. Watch it. Love it. Live it.