It's been a while since we've posted. We've been busy, plus it's really hard to get really drunk all the time and watch shitty movies. I'm currently not drunk, nor watching a movie, but I am going to give descriptions of several movies that you absolutely need to see.

Single White Female: A groundbreaking avant garde film directed by Jim Jarmusch. It is simply a two hour film of Jennifer Jason Leigh crying, and eating a tub of ice cream in her sunday sweats. Heartbreaking.

The Neverending Story: One of the greatest dramas ever made. It depicts a recently divorced woman, who refuses to show weakness, while yapping away to her friends about how her ex husband was such a "sonofabitch", and how she's strong and will move on. A great film, but bring some cocaine or meth amphetamines with you, because it is a 4 and a half hour film of  empowerment of the womans spirit.

555: A very obscure drama about a young retarded boy who tries ordering a pizza, but can only dial 555 on his telephone. Will he get that pizza delivered? Watch and see.

Black Christmas: A raucous comedy from Tyler Perry, showing all you white folks how black people celebrate Christmas....WITH HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES!

Quarantine: A scathing documentary on the city of Detroit, and peoples thoughts on whether or not it should be a city quarantined from the rest of the world.

Blood Diner: A horror-comedy about vampires who feast upon womens mensturation.

The Lost Boys: This is a poignant and often hilarious documentary on three gay lovers searching for long lost bathouses across America.

Moneyball: Some consider this the "Showgirls" of males. It stars Brad Pitt as an aging male stripper who needs to come up with a sexy gimmick to keep his loins on stage at the male strip joint named "The Moneyball".

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me: Mary Kate, and Ashley Olsen's first (and hopefully not last), XXX rated feature film.

The Hangover: A disturbing, and tear jerking documentary on Mickey Redmonds mornings.

Bowling for Columbine: An uplifting documentary on high school students in the city of Columbine, bowling to raise money to donate to the NRA to keep guns in hardworking, white Americans hands. Dedicated to Charlton Heston. An absolute must see.

The Odd Couple: A 30 minute documentary examining the breasts of Tara Reid.

Grumpy Old Men: A hilarious, yet disturbing drama by the Coen Brothers about Cardinals of the Catholic church, trying to save face after being accused of molesting half the population of young boys in the town of Bangor Maine.

O Brother Where Art Thou: A high octane action film about the Black Panther party, that takes place in 1970; but is spoken in the form of Shakespeare. Kinda like that Romeo n Juliet pile of shit, starring those two people.

City Slickers: A terrifying, and very realistic account of when the Italian population uses their natural bodily grease to take over the city of Hoboken.

Schindlers List: A steamy sexcapade of a man named Chet Schindler, and the list of all the women he's slept with, and will sleep with. Makes Basic Instinct look like a Disney film.

The Watermelon Man: Use your imagination.

Coming to America: A look at the events and aftermath of 9/11.

I'm bored and I just wanna eat my chicken cordon bleu. Go do something, fucker.